In Africa, being an introvert is kind of hard. People don’t seem to understand that you simply want to be left alone, they think you’re some kind of snob for not wanting to talk to people.
I remember one time where one of my relatives accused my mom of purposely keeping me away from them, when in actual fact I was the one who just wanted to be left alone (I hate family dramas). It was hard explaining to my dad that my social battery drains to zero when I’m in the midst of loud people.
I’ve also overhead people talking about how quiet I am. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) Like girl, if only you were inside my head.
All I’m saying is, you can’t help being an introvert. So don’t blame or try to change yourself if someone doesn’t like you because of your personal orientation.
Another difficult aspect of being an introvert, is making new friends
As an introvert, it’s can be hard to make new friends because it takes alot of energy to get to know a person. Personally, I like meeting new people, but it mostly depends on the situation I meet them. I hate awkward situations, so I avoid them totally. If I see a group of people together, even if I actually know some of them I wouldn’t barge into their conversations.
And I’ve noticed, anytime I get desperate and force conversations, it makes me feel as if I’m seeking validation from people, and I hate thinking that, about myself.
Although it’s okay to not want to talk to people, but eventually you’ll have to interact with people whether you like it or not. While making new friends is nice, you have to make sure that they’re worthy. If they treat you badly; make fun of you for being you, or worse don’t understand why you don’t want to go to the party, drop them like they’re hot! You’re an angel blessed with the spirit of serenity, you don’t need them!
In other to avoid friendships like that, I’ve put together 5 tips to make good friends as an introvert.
1. Find people with mutual interests
Find people who are interested in the same topic as you. Don’t say oh because sheyla is cool and popular I want to be her friend. There are other qualities to people besides the superficial ones.
2. Be confident
When talking to new people be confident. If they perceive that you’re scared and vulnerable, they might use it to exploit you.
3. Know that it’s okay to be an introvert
This is especially important because by knowing this, you have the upper hand. Nobody will be able to take advantage of you.
4. Make friends because you want to
Because of my observant nature, I can tell when someone is seeking validation from others and I really feel embarrassed that they have to act like that. Many times I’ve always dreamed of what it’ll feel like to have a best friend. But don’t force any friendship. If it’s not working out distance yourself, you probably won’t even miss it because you weren’t emotionally attached in the first place. Make friends because you genuinely want to be friends with that person not because they’re cool or popular.
5. if you’re good at something, show it
By showing what you’re good at, you might meet people who love what you’re doing and want to become friends with you.
I’m quite popular in my class mainly because I participate actively in academic work and that has helped me to meet people of same interests.
Know this, you can’t help being an introvert, going out with people everytime just to prove yourself to people will slowly break you.
I know alot of introvert who do what makes them happy but unfortunately, some people deal with identity crisis.
If people are treating you badly you don’t have to put up with them. Screw anything they mean to you. Don’t listen to them tell you what to do or what not to. And when they threaten to cut you off thank your stars because they’ve made it easier for you. Don’t go crawling back to them, begging them to take you back. Don’t let your emotions cloud your reasoning. And let me tell you, they aren’t your true friends in the first place and they’re most likely just using you.
Anjola Writes 